Hot water. (Stress at work)

We all walk around with pouches on our back. These pouches are capable of holding boiling hot water, but they don't protect our bodies from the heat. The boiling water hurts and all we want to do is get rid of it. Sometimes we dump that water on other people because we are only considering ourselves, how hot the water is and how badly we want to get rid of it. Imagine if you were the one minding your own business, walking into your home and you are greeted by a splash of boiling hot water. That wasn't fair! It hurt, dang it. And now you are angry and in pain.

When we have had a day filled with negative events that brought us down, stressed us out, made us angry or depressed... sometimes we allow it to stick around and we empty those negative emotions on those we love the most. Sometimes it makes us feel better, but almost 100% of the time, it makes the other person feel those same negative emotions or WORSE than you did. Now you're both miserable/angry/frustrated, and in your mind, it's not your fault.

I know it's possible, but I have never met ANYONE that says they go to work for fun. Many people do enjoy their job, but the motivation is usually to make a buck. There are days that drag us down, stress us out, make us angry/depressed/tired... It is important to learn the skill of mentally closing doors and opening new ones. People cannot read your mind. Example: A friend or spouse starts complaining to you about having to do an extra 30 minutes of work because of lazy co-workers. You get upset because YOU had a flat tire in 100 degree weather and were stranded with 3 kids for 2 hours. You feel like they had no right to complain to you because your day was worse. Everyone deserves validation. Sometimes all we want is for someone to say, "I'm sorry you had a rough day," and give us a hug.

We have all been guilty of allowing OUR bad day to bring down the people around us. Pointing fingers or assigning whose day was worse is destructive. My advice is to become constructive with how you deal with negative events of the day.

If you cannot share your burdens with the person you love most, what is the purpose in that relationship? Also, if you cannot set aside your negative feelings and greet your loved ones with a kind disposition, then expect a cloudy home with bickering and resentment. Here is what I suggest after a day of negative events/emotions:

1  HAPPILY, LOVINGLY, greet your family when you get home (or when they come home). Exchange a hug/kiss/hello with a smile!
2  Ask how each other's day was and LISTEN. If it is not a good time to talk about it, don't.
3  VALIDATE their frustrations/anger/sadness by acknowledging you heard them and offer sympathy. Express joy or congratulations on the good things too.
4  Communicate what you hope the rest of your evenings consist of. "What do you want to do tonight?"

I'm going to expand on number 4. There are times we just want to be alone to breathe, think and relax. There are times we want to be together, but we want to be lazy and just "veg." There are times we want to be productive and fix or work on a problem. There are times we want to go out somewhere. If you are on the same page with expectations for the evening, you will avoid friction in the following hours. If one of you wants to stay home and do nothing and the other one wants to GET OUT and do something, compromise. Allow the one that wants to stay home to choose what to do that night, BUT set an evening specifically when you both agree to go out like the other one wanted. Do it this way for two reasons: a) If someone wanted to stay home, but you pressure them into going out, how is their attitude? It is usually one that spoils your time out anyway. b) If that evening approaches and you both know you will be going out, you can mentally prepare to muster up the energy and good attitude to make it happen.

Treat others the way you want to be treated. If you have had a peachy day and you get an angry text or an angry greeting from your spouse/friend/whatever... it makes you upset. Don't text/call/greet other people with a negative issue that can wait and chill your attitude so you are not being angry towards them. My family isn't perfect, but I know communication and a happy greeting go a LOOOONG way.

Men, I'll tell you now, every woman wants a hug and a kiss when you get home/she gets home. She would also looove it if you take care of the kids/wash dishes/etc without being asked.
Women, men like praise, appreciation and sometimes a nice backrub.

Both of you give, both of you receive. Thanks for reading!