Okay, kids get a time-out when they have been naughty and that is their consequence, right? Moms need time outs too, just hopefully BEFORE she is naughty.
We all have our breaking points. It is completely natural for our hormones to go up and down, for our patience to go up and down and our energy to go up and down. Sometimes, these changes are more drastic than they need to be and sometimes the DOWNS last way too long or go too far. My heart hurts not only for the children, but the mothers that find themselves harming their children. Any time I hear a case of postpartum psychosis or depression that went unchecked, a lot of family and friends were clueless until she reached her breaking point.
Some of us women do not like to "complain." Do you know what, nonconstructive complaining IS quite the downer for everyone around you, and usually the man in your life just feels helpless and doesn't really do anything. I have learned how to be a good complainer. I don't even know if my husband has a CLUE how lucky he is with how little I whine. Instead of, "I never get anything for myself, I don't have time to get to the store, the kids are driving me crazy, blah blah..." I will text my husband, "Bring me chocolate on your way home please." Does he? Yep. Why? Because I don't abuse it and he knows that translates to, "I had a hard day, I need to know you care and chocolate makes owies better." What? It does.
FOUR THINGS to do that can help women be happier.
1 She needs to find out what the heck she wants from daily life. If you don't know what you want, nobody else will! Do you want to work? Do you want to stay home? Do you need 'girl time' with friends once a week? Do you need time to yourself at a certain time of day? Do you want to go on a date with your man once a week kid-free??? Write down what you miss from your life before you got married/had kids and find a way to bring it back into your life now. We live in an amazing time, if you want it, go freaking get it. I am a mom of five, my husband works full time. I want to be a lactation consultant & RN in a hospital... I can't get my RN right now, so we put the $295 for CNA courses on the cc, I pump for my sweet baby and ditch my husband four evenings a week for a month. I need his support, otherwise it wouldn't happen. He knows I want it and we can make it through this time. We are almost done with it, and the kids have been amazing. We are very blessed and I love my family even more despite being away from them 20 hours per week. It is all for a goal that will benefit my entire family. If you want to work less, get rid of cable, phones... support hubby in getting a new job. You can make it happen if you are patient and work for it.
2 Music - I don't care who you are, music is good for the soul. I like a variety, I usually pick what I want according to my mood. Lately, it's just happy music - we pull up a station through our television (looove technology) and pick a category. Make sure you listen to at least ONE song a day. Interestingly enough, if you listen to one, you will usually keep listening to more. Not bad at all.
3 Start your day RIGHT. If you are a woman of faith, it is hard to get on your knees and start the day with a prayer. Usually my alarm is my kids... they need something right away. If you are not religious, meditate for just 1-2 minutes by taking deep breaths and focusing on what you want to do better with today. (Just like in a prayer, you are asking for guidance and strength with certain things.) STRETCH before you get out of bed. If you are ever around young children or infants much, they stretch every time they wake up and they are usually dang happy. Stretching releases endorphines, even reaching your arms out or up through your fingertips and legs down through your toes can make a world of a difference on your mood.
4 Ask yourself how you are doing once in a while. We can be very in tune with our minds, hearts and bodies. Sometimes we feel depressed, angry or just off. If you are having more negative emotions than usual, talk with close family in your life (your partner is great!) about something you need help with. Often times, I feel like it was a hectic day with the kids... I was constantly going and I was getting drained. I was yelling more easily over little things... I fed the baby and informed my husband, "I am leaving. I need to get rid of 'mean mommy.' I may or may not come back." Husband: "Bye hun...where are you going?" Of course he knew I was coming back, but he probably wanted to double check my drive didn't include the edge of a cliff.
Parents that have been emotionally drained know exactly what I'm talking about and can laugh about it now. Unless they are in the middle of an emotional phase, they may be crying and laughing... feeling like you would rather be dead or want to throw your kids or spouse out the window are all normal. I think it was in the movie "What happens in Vegas," the judge says about his wife, "sometimes I want to light her on fire. But I don't, because we love each other." haha. classic.
If you would like to look through to what your future might be like if you don't keep yourself fulfilled right now, here is a book that was a fear of mine. $2.99 and the proceeds go to her poor mother that waited too long to care about herself.
Woman, Wife, Mother...Me
Thank you for reading!
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